John Laws Broadcast Summary
Item: LAWS SAYS AT THE MELBOURNE CUP THERE WAS A POMPOUS POOF TELLING AUSTRALIANS HOW TO WEAR THEIR POCKET SQUARE. LAWS ASKS: WHAT DOES THIS POMPOUS LITTLE PANSY KNOW ABOUT JUDGING GIRLS?
09:20 AM JOHN LAWS 03/11/2004
Summary ID: S00015731160 (2UE Transcript)
John Laws: This is a really serious thing. It's not often I get really worried about this country, but I tell you what, I had a sleepless night last night after watching the television that I saw in relation to the Melbourne Cup. Who is this pompous little pansy prig who was strutting everywhere yesterday telling Australian blokes how to wear their pocket square, as he called it? That's poof speak for handkerchief. And he had it wrong when he did adjust it.
Who is this? He might be famous in certain circles - circles being the operative world, we know where they are - and I don't know much about other Australian blokes, but this fellow didn't inspire me too much. Who the hell was he? Apparently he works on a program on Channel Ten but yesterday he seemed to be everywhere but Channel Ten. He was on Channel Seven judging girls.
Now, what the hell does a pillow-biter know about judging girls? They should have had a few truckies down there, or me, or the co-driver even, fair dinkum Aussie blokes judging fair dinkum Aussie girls, not this pompous little pansy. I remember when Australia was a land of proud, dedicated women and hard-drinking, hard-talking men, M-E-N. Men.
Why this sudden proliferation of pansies, I don't know. It's a major issue. I mean, it's all very good and well that Australia tolerates people with varied sexual leanings but I don't know why we should be celebrating it. Anyway, the sooner this fairy flies out and let's us judge our own women on our own criteria, the better. So on behalf of truck drivers, wharf labourers, free-thinking, red-blooded Australian men, and me, let's collectively say, [chorus] "Piss off, pansy."
I know what you would liked to have said, you would have liked to have said [chorus] "Piss off, poof" but you can't say that because that's a derogatory word so we won't say that, we wouldn't stoop to that. Well, wouldn't really want to stoop to anything would I?
09:29 AM JOHN LAWS 03/11/2004
2UE Summary ID: S00015731307 (2UE Summary)
Caller, rings and says Laws was so funny calling the guy a pillow biting little prick and he can't believe real Australian men were just taking what he was giving out. Laws says the little clown could not even tuck the pocket square in.
09:31 AM JOHN LAWS 03/11/2004
2UE Summary ID: S00015731338 (2UE Summary)
Caller, Darren, asks Laws how he is. Laws says he is pissed off with the pansies. Darren says good on him, he saw the guy on Rove and felt the same way.
09:53 AM JOHN LAWS 03/11/2004
2UE Summary ID: S00015732914 (2UE Summary)
Caller, Robin, congratulates Laws on his ratings. She talks about the Melbourne Cup, recalling that Paris Hilton and her sister were brought out last year. She complains that Hilton and her sister stopped other people from using the powder room at the Melbourne Cup. Laws is shocked. Robin also says that Maggie Tabara (*) was to host a fashion parade once but the organisers wanted Sharon Stone. However they could not get Stone because the money was not good enough. Robin thinks Australians should be the ambassadors instead of foreigners. Laws agrees - he is critical that a "postulating pompous little pansy" was the ambassador this year and says Paris Hilton is the "town bike".
09:55 AM JOHN LAWS 03/11/2004
2UE Summary ID: S00015731788 (2UE Summary)
Caller, has a filthy hangover and thought Laws was funny about the poof. He moved to Sydney 17 year ago and the fairy thing.... His son said to him why are these blokes kissing on the main street of Darlinghurst and you just don't do this in the country. He says the Melbourne Cup is telecast around the world and Queer Eye For the Straight Guy is going to be broadcast. Laws has friends who are homosexual and they couldn't believe he was being chosen. Caller says a gay guy came up to him at a party and pulled his beard to tell him to grow it properly, so caller grabbed him on the groin and told him to use that properly.
09:55 AM JOHN LAWS 03/11/2004 (continued)
2UE Summary ID: S00015731788 (2UE Summary)
Email, says half the fashion designers in the world are gay, so this guy had the right to judge the fashion. Laws says no, not on this occasion.
